Sunday, October 6, 2013

Ethiopia Adoption: Telling Family & Friends

We've received such positive support in expected and unexpected ways from family and friends, and are feeling really confident in our decision to make this journey public. In all honesty though, and I wonder if this is the same for other adoptive parents, we've really received confirmation and strength in some of the negative responses we've received.

We knew we would receive negative reactions for a variety of reasons, having read a lot about others' experiences, and as people who always like to please others it's difficult for us not to quickly fight back with the intention of "winning people over." What negative reactions have helped us see is first, where our hearts truly lie. Where previously we may have sought to win the hearts of our friends and family, this isn't our priority. We won't feel fulfilled personally or spiritually, to know that we have logicially and philosophically settled all differences in regards to views on adoption. It's not what we set out to do, we aren't policy makers or negotiators here. We truly feel called by God to adopt our first child and we are 100% stepping out in our faith to do so. Attempting to rationalize and reason with others would be fruitless, even if we think we could "convince" or "win them over." When we stepped out in faith to do this, this meant (and still means) that we don't have all of the answers and we don't know the ultimate plan. For us to conquer every fear regarding finances and logistics, or draft a pros-and-cons list to provide confirmation, counters our original purpose. We would essentially be telling our friends, "we trust in the Lord to open and close doors and to guide us through this process, however we have back up plans in case He falls through." 

I can only hope that other adoptive families that read this, or really or anyone stepping out in faith in any aspect of their life, have the courage and strength to stand firm in their faith and not feel required to justify or calm others worries that they really aren't able to do. You won't look  "stupid" or "immature" if your answer to others' concerns is "we're stepping out in faith and trusting in the Lord to provide during this process." In fact, quite the contrary. 

We're supposed to be assigned our family coordinator this week which is exciting! 

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
"Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother's way." Romans 14:13

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